You are afraid of autumn and of pain.

You say, you need me. I am moved to tears.

You say I am the woman of your fate.

October tastes like mulled wine, nights are horny.

You are in me like poison, like a knife.

November. Stranger`s lipstick. I` am groaning.

Compelling evidence- you`re not completely mine.

December. Happy New Hysterics...

The walls are stained with dainties,

Washed with blood.

The floor is wet and frighteningly cerise

I wish you happy Christmas.

Love is blind.

I feel like being roughly tortured.

My heart is emptied.

The throat is torn with cry.

You are the winner.

I am completely broken.

I won`t be yours.

You have been never mine.

2015

My comfort

My comfort is of loneliness and sex.

I watch lamplights across the ceiling.

I need no people, need no mess.

I want to listen to my feelings.

I want to cry and to recall

The memories of sweetest moments.

The shades of darkness, lights on walls...

I listen. And the rain is falling.

I seal the envelope to send.

I`m leaving you. So I will forget

All our love. I don`t regret.

I`ll just dissolve in pouring rain.

Forgive me and farewell, my friend.

I`ll sip some cognac, keeping sense of balance.

My house. Dusk. No lights along the street.

I watch the dove, which preens his feathers.

I savor silence. It tastes so bittersweet.

2017

Aftertaste

The autumn and the morning. The undone bed.

I take some coffee beans to ground.

The whirligig of maple leaves is mad.

The rain drips down fragile window glass.

And taste of you is so sweet and sad.

The Autumn. And again I get the creeps.

The thoughts of mine are shattered.

Your love tastes bitter on my lips.

Like black hot tea with saffron.

I welcome this so lonesome autumn

With farewell tenderness, with wet cheeks of mine.

The silence. Peace. The sense of burden.

Goodbye forever. And set at ease your mind!

2017

I fell ill with you

You know, I fell ill with you.

I am running for you with mucus and blood,

With all dreams and all liquids,

With ashes and smoke,

With spirits and tea, like a flood.

You know, you can`t be removed.

You`re rotting in me, spilling poison.

I spit it, as bitter as sooth.

I try to use pain for my poems.

You know, I fell ill with you.

I picked you up as the bug.

I fell ill with you and endure

Doubts, impulses, fights.

You know, I am killed with you.

I am all black, full of salt.

Just one your look makes me drool,

Be abrupt, rebellious, hot.

You know, I am tortured with you,

Tormented, pulled out and crumpled.

You hypnotize and bewitch.

You`re silent. I am crucified.

You drink me like sparkling wine.

I`m cast in pearls. I am spawned...

You are so great, you are smart.

I breathe for your sake, I adore you.

2017

Bitterness

Look into me like into abyss.

Take off me all my masks.

That, what used to be proud matter

I washed away into dust.

I need you. I need you badly!

It`s not the matter of doubt.

You know, what I feel is painful.

I suffocate with my love.

The rainy evening is dusky.